Still guided by the “female leadership” theme, we invited our Executive Vice President, Carine Bruxel, to write an open letter to her teenage daughter. In an inspiring text, Carine shares valuable lessons on female leadership that she would have liked to have received at the beginning of her professional career. Check it out!
Dear daughter.
The most common things out there are concepts and theories about leadership that look more like a cake recipe than anything else. But true leadership is learned by experiencing, making mistakes and improving this skill. That is why, in a simple manner, honestly and without many revisions, I wrote down some lessons for you. I’ve learned them over many years in leading people and businesses, and they made a great difference in my journey.
My basic principle is: every leadership begins with a goal. That goal is the reason to lead and develop relationships guided by a bigger purpose; it is what brings dynamic, challenge and growth. A relationship without any goals may be anything, but it’s not a leadership relationship. Such a relationship is where most leaders get lost.
Many of them care too much about themselves, their image, reputation, and influence. But people don’t follow a leader because of how amazing they are, but because they make people feel amazing, feel like they’re evolving and reaching new levels. Compliments are good, to give and receive, but they are not signs of good leadership. The results are! Being a true inspirational leader is not about being admired by everyone; it’s about helping others reach places they’ve never dreamed of.
A leader’s greatest weapon is being honest – the sooner the better. You may say whatever you want, as long as you choose the right words. It’s not the words that may destroy people, but the way they are said does. So, work on your empathy, influence, and persuasion. They are indispensable for engaging people. Learn how to tell stories, the whys in them are magical.
Nobody will follow what you say, but they will observe what you do. We lead by example. So the first thing you need to do is lead in your own life. If you can’t, you’re not going to be able to lead others. Reach your goals, develop, invest in what’s important, and practice. Be an example, but don’t fool yourself: perfection is not real. Use your vulnerabilities (which will increase more and more according to the dose of self-awareness you take) to show your team how to lead without interrupting your own growth.
Being a woman, feminine, sensitive, loving, and empathetic cannot define your leadership. Be competent! Don’t be afraid to have an opinion, nor to express it, always! Know that you can and must disagree, without having to hear that you are experiencing PMS. Being demanding has nothing to do with having a strong personality; it has to do with high standards; being good at what you do doesn’t mean that you’ve left your family aside. Don’t blame yourself for loving your work. Be a woman with all your power, strength, and sensibility. Learn to draw limits in a gentle, but firm way.
Don’t let your emotions take over you. You can feel them, but don’t let them run your life. To take care of your mind and heart, take time to process everything you hear. Some things may seem to make little sense because we don’t give them enough thought. Believe me, some people are at serving raw carrots with a creamy soup.Make an effort to not spit out the carrots. Instead, chew them thoroughly, savor every word and try to understand the intentions of the person who said them. The best nutrients are wasted when we swallow a whole thing – not to mention indigestion and stomachache.
Don’t be a person who gets offended. Forgive quickly. Instead of saying “you hurt my feelings”, choose to not have hurt feelings. It’s nobody else’s responsibility to not hurt your feelings, but it is your responsibility to not let yourself get hurt. Always make the decision to not get hurt. In some cases, back away to preserve your happiness. Don’t blame people for your problems. Solve them because nobody has anything to do with them.
We waste so much time in our lives waiting for people to give us things. Figure out what it is that you want and go for it. You should adapt, but never but never trade what you want for of what someone else wants. It will take a toll on you in the future. Have a personal direction, don’t wander around, waiting to see what’s going to happen tomorrow. Make tomorrow happen according to your objectives.
Study non-stop! Take pleasure in acquiring knowledge. Books change lives, expand thoughts, so read every day; make a habit of it so you’ll always have new thoughts going through your mind and inspiring you.
Don’t underestimate the power of networking. Be around different people, don’t isolate yourself. Expand your connections with intent and be aware of people and opportunities, because good connections change the course of your life surprisingly. Always keep doors open. Leaving a company on bad terms is like having a scar: you can’t fix it.
At last, when something goes wrong, start over. Every day we have a chance at new beginnings. Lift your head and go ahead, until it works out.
With love,
Mom.
